Better to have loved and lust than never love ever
by Goddess of Gorgeousness
Summary: Lily and James, are they destined to be or will something out of their control draw them apart? a sappy romantic story with some naughty scenes later on, my first fanfic so please read and review CHAPPIE 10 IS UP! YAY!
1. Trouble A Head

Better to have loved and lust than to never have loved at all.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own and of the character used in this story they all belong to J.K Rowling. And it I had the talent to make more money that the queen, I wouldn't be publishing my work on the internet would I?  
  
It was the last time that he would board this train on the way to Hogwarts. His seventh year and his last had come so fast. As he boarded the train with his mates Sirius, Remus and Peter, he felt sad but excited at the same time.  
  
"Cya guys later" he yelled to his friends who were scrambling over luggage, cages and other junk that always ended up in the corridor of the train. For this year he would not be joining them. He was head boy and got a compartment all to himself.. Well almost all to himself, he had to share with the head girl but he still got a better deal than his mates. As he walked up towards the head of the train he wondered who the head girl could be. He finally decided just before he got to his compartment that it was probably Gemma McCoy, a snooty girl in Hufflepuff that was a favourite among the teachers. He opened the door to find his crush of 4 years Lily Evans wearing a shiny head girl badge. In James eyes Lily was an angel, she had long red wavy hair, that swayed when she walked. She was around 5'6" compared to his 6'. Her fair complexion was flawless and made her hair look even redder than it was. But by far the most captivating things about Lily Evans were her eyes, they were deep green like two shining emeralds, they really were the windows to her soul, they held such emotion, usually dislike when she was looking at James, but the sparkled an made her look so beautiful.  
  
"What are you staring at Potter?" Lily questioned as she seated herself opposite James.  
  
"I had forgotten how beautiful you are" he smiled his charming smile as he spoke. Either that or you just got prettier over the hols."  
  
"Very nice Potter," she said with a disapproving tone in her voice. She drove him crazy, she really had gotten prettier over the hols, her breasts were more developed and she was more curvy that the last time he saw her. He had liked her for years but for some reason he was never good at showing it. He always played tricks on her with his mates, and he tried the same old techniques that he managed to get other girls into bed with, but none of it worked on Lily. This of course wasn't going to stop him from trying to get her in the sack, no, he hadn't given up yet.  
  
"We should get changed into our robes now so we can set a good example when we have to patrol the train" Lily said.  
  
"When is that?" James asked.  
  
"In about five minutes" she replied.  
  
"Well we better get changed then," he said with a cheeky smile as he got comfortable on the seat and crossing his arms on his chest.  
  
"If you think that I am going to get changed in front of you you're a sadly mistaken" she scowled, before casting a spell to make a wall between them while she changed.  
  
James smiled to himself; she was so cute when she is angry. He started to get changed with thought of Lily swirling is his head.  
  
(A/N: hey guys this is my first fan fic so please review, I would be so grateful, I am going to try and update once a week, especially over the holidays, so I hope you like this and if you have any ideas please either put them in a review or email me at coo01@whsc.vic.edu.au thanking you in advance,  
  
Goddess of gorgeousness, AKA steph ( 


	2. Patrol

Chappie 2- Patrol  
  
Lily finished changing and yelled to James,  
"I will wait for you in the corridor"  
"Suit yourself babe" was her reply. As she exited the compartment she was in a sort of daze, she leaned against the wall and tried to sort out her head. James Potter, the first thing that came to mind. She asked herself why that was, she hadn't batted an eyelid at him before and now her head was full of thoughts about him.  
  
She pictured him in her head, he was tall, 6'' at least, he had eyes like the ocean on a clear summers day, blue that changed depending on what he was thinking, framed by wire rimmed glasses, muscular from all the quiddich he played. 'He has a nice arse' she thought to herself before mentally slapping herself. 'Lily Evans does not like James Potter!' she reminded herself, but there was one thing she thought was cute, his hair, it is naturally messy and wont sit flat. 'That's probably because he never stops running his fingers through it and messing it up even more' she thought. She snapped back into reality, 'This is James Potter she was thinking about! Mr get-any-girl-into-bed-only- to-dump-her-the-next-day-and-add-another-notch-to-his-bedpost Potter!' She made her mind up then and there. She Lily Anne Evans was not going to become another notch in anyone's bedpost, especially not James Potter's!  
  
~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#  
  
James slowly got changed into his robes, all the while thinking of Lily, he wanted her so bad, he wanted to put his arms around her curvy little waist and have her belong to him. It would be a hard one though; Lily wasn't the type to belong to any one. 'Anyway she hates me and she thinks I hate her!' James smiled as he did up the final silver button on his robes. He knew he could get her, he had never failed at getting any other girl, and he wasn't planning on starting now. He started for the door putting on the look he always did for Lily; it wasn't a nice one either.  
  
"Evans" he said as he closed the door to the headboy/girl compartment "You ready?" He got no answer  
"Hey Evans!" he yelled Lily jumped.  
"What do you want!" she said panting a little from the scare. James sighed and replied  
"We have rounds, remember, where we go check up on all those kids that are probably running riot in the train"  
"Right sorry James I was just daydreaming let's get going," They started walking up the carriage stopping at some compartments to control wild students, mostly slytherins.  
James jogged to catch up with Lily, he had just be sorting out a troublesome group of 4th year Slytherins who were trying to bewitch peoples luggage to run into the forbidden forest as soon as they got to Hogwarts. Unfortunately for them the charm had backfired and the luggage was chasing them around their compartment. Lily had that glazed over thoughtful look that made her look so cute.  
"Penny for your thoughts?" He asked  
"Oh nothing just daydreaming again, I don't know what has gotten into me today." She said coming back to reality.  
"About a certain something or." he flashed her a cheeky smile "or someone?" Lily blushed a little making James squirm on the inside, how could she do this to me? How can such a small thing like her blushing make me feel like this, sure she looked absolutely stunning like that but she's just another girl right? Lily cleared her throat bringing James back to reality, he realised he was staring at her and quickly turned his gaze to the floor, then without thinking he reached for her hand and pulled it to his lips. Lily recoiled pulling her hand a way with hatred filling her emerald eyes. She lifted the same hand that he kissed and slapped him hard over the face. "Sorry Evans, I deserved that" he said softly  
  
"Forget it Potter, I wouldn't expect anything different from you" she said loudly as she turned on her heal and stormed back to their compartment.  
  
~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~# A/N hey guys thanks for your reviews I love you all cos you expired me to write some more, to answer some of your questions and suggestions I do plan on writing longer chappies but cos I am pretty busy with school at the moment the best that you can hope for are more little chappies. When the holidays start I will try to write at least 2 long chappies a week till then I know this story is starting off slow but I have big plans for this, if you have any ideas of suggestions either put them in a review or email me at coo01@whsc.vic.edu.au I will try to take your ideas into consideration. Thanx heaps guys and keep reviewing! Love Goddess, (aka Steph)  
  
Special note: 


	3. Truce

Chapter 3- Truce  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own any characters that you recognise, only the ones you don't. If I were really J.K. Rowling would I be posting stories worth millions on a free Internet site?  
  
(A/N) I just realised I was going to write a special note but I didn't! I just posted the chappie. Oops! I will have an even more special special note for you this Chappie. ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ Lily burst into a compartment, her emerald eyes full of anger and hate for James Potter.  
  
"Hey Lil, what's up" asked Natalie. Natalie is Lily's long time best friend. She is a pure blood witch but her parents live in the muggle world and she grew up like a muggle. Nat has wavy hair like Lily's but it is ebony black. Her skin is tanned and she gets acne occasionally. Her eyes are a deep chestnut brown. The only thing she doesn't like about her body is her height; she is only 5'2".  
  
" I am going to murder James Potter! One night when he is in bed sleeping soundly I am going to kill him!" Lily's voice was full of hatred as she thought about him, 'and I actually thought that I liked him' a little voice in her head said. This was going to be a long year.  
  
" Well you better make an appointment" Nat replied "unless you want to find him in there with some girl." Nat giggled "book in advance, spaces are limited!"  
  
"Very funny Nat!" Lily said as she smiled at Nat's little joke. She was right though; James did have a girl in his bed every night, well almost every night. She was surprised that there weren't hundreds of pregnant girls walking around after James was finished with them. James and Sirius were both as bad as each other. Rumour has it that they have a bet to see how many girls they can get into bed by the end of the year.  
  
"So why do you want to kill him?" Nat asked Lily with a questioning look.  
  
"Because he was coming on to me in the hall, and being a sleaze in the head compartment, and he is an arrogant prick, and he keeps on ruffling up his hair, and.."  
  
"Whoa slow down! If I said you don't like the guy would I be correct?" Nat said looking Lily straight in the eye.  
  
"YES!" Lily said on impulse. But then she started thinking her heart battling her brain. 'Do I dislike him?' *yes you do he is a prick remember*. 'But I don't HATE him' *well you may as well hate him*. 'But I don't 'cos he doesn't tease me any more, so I don't hate him like I used to.' *well you don't love him* 'no I don't love him' *so can we agree that you dislike James Potter?* 'yes, okay you dislike James Potter' *agreed?* 'agreed'.  
  
"LILY!" Lily came back to reality to find Nat around 2 inches from her face screaming at her.  
  
"Aaah! Nat what are you doing?" Lily screamed pushing her friend away from her face.  
  
"Bringing you back to the real world, you have been staring into space for nearly 5 minutes!" Nat said in an exasperated voice  
  
"You didn't listen to any thing I was saying"  
  
"I'm sorry Nat I have had my head in the clouds today, now what were you saying that I missed out on while I was daydreaming?  
  
"Nothing important, I was just raving on about how hot Sirius is when."  
  
"Did I hear my name being said by one of you beautiful ladies?" Sirius questioned from where he was leaning against the doorframe.  
  
"Because if so," he continued, "I would love to hear you say my name again some where else," he smiled his dazzling smile towards Nat, "my bed perhaps?"  
  
"Sirius Black get out of this compartment now!" Lily yelled at him, his presence reminded her of James, something she didn't want to think about right now.  
  
"Certainly Evans, and would Miss. Jackson care to join me?" he had the same cheeky smile as James on his face.  
  
"No she would not now would you plea."  
  
"Hold on Lily, I do want to go. If you were listening to what I said before you would know that." Nat said cutting in. Lily felt like she had been slapped in the face. Her friend was ditching her for Sirius Black? As Nat left on Sirius's arm she gave Lily an evil look. Nat couldn't believe Lily had almost risked her chances of being with Sirius. She had only liked him for 4 years. With a flick of her hair she left without saying another word.  
  
Lily felt lonely and silly sitting by herself in the compartment so she got up and walked slowly down the corridor towards the head compartment. Even James was better than sitting all alone. As she left the compartment she was just in time to see Sirius pull Nat into a cupboard their lips locked and Sirius's hands roaming. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
MEANWHILE  
  
James rubbed his face as he headed back to the head compartment. He didn't feel like visiting his friends, they would just laugh at the fact that Lily had rejected him. again. This must have been close to the 40th time she had rejected him. So he decided to read 'quidditch through the ages' for the 287th time.  
  
He sat in their compartment and looked around. Their compartment was bigger that all the other compartments but theirs was only for two people. He decided that the compartment was huge so that if the head students were from different houses and didn't get along well they could sit further apart.  
  
But Lily and him were from the same house and she still sat as far away from him as possible. James sighed and put down his book. He stared at the seat in the corner across from him were Lily was sitting last time she was in here. James pictured her sitting there her robes, her flame red hair falling around her china doll face. And those eyes, he wished that when they looked at him they were full of love and admiration.  
  
'Hey James, snap out of it!' a little voice said 'this is Lily. Evans! Great body, nice bum that's it, right!'  
  
"Yeah that's it," he said out loud as if to confirm that all he wanted from Lily was one night or two in his bed.  
  
"What's it?" he heard a voice say, he looked up with his still red face to see Lily had just entered and sat in the spot he was staring at.  
  
"Oh nothing," he said avoiding eye contact "just got a lot of thoughts to sort out in my head,"  
  
"Penny for your thoughts?" she said imitating what he had said to her only ten minutes ago. James gave her a little smile. She returned it.  
  
"Why do you hate me?" he asked suddenly looking deep into her eyes as if he thought the answer was in them.  
  
"I don't" she answered after turning her head so he couldn't read her thoughts through her eyes. James stood up and crossed the compartment to sit next to Lily. Lily shrank away from him a little. He just looked at her; her head was looking towards the floor. Gently as if he were holding a bubble he lifted he head and turned it towards him so their eyes met.  
  
"Then what do you called that horrid look in your eyes that I see every time you look at me?" he said, letting go of her face and turning his to stare straight ahead.  
  
"You were so horrible to me Potter, I used to hate you. But then you stopped being so horrible and I stopped hating you. as much. I guess it is just a reaction that I get when I see you. I block off my senses so should you throw an insult my way it wouldn't hurt me. You hurt me so much Potter."  
  
Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered the insults in the halls, the pranks, and the taunts. And then she thought of Nat leaving her for Sirius. She couldn't hold the tears in any more. Years of emotions came out as she started to cry silently.  
  
For the second time that day James gently turned Lily's head to faces his own. He cupped her delicate little face in his strong hands and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. Her stare caught his and she said.  
  
"Why were you so mean to me James?" 'I called him James! What happened to Potter?' she thought.  
  
"Because I am a Fool." He answered slowly "Lily you have to know that if I knew that what I did to you was going to make your beautiful green eyes cry than I would never have ever said anything horrible to you, I thought I was just having fun." 'When did first name basis start? She is Evans, I am Potter right?'  
  
"You hurt me so much James" her eyes were puffy and red as they looked into his blue eyes as she took in the apology that she thought she would never receive.  
  
"Lily?"  
  
"Yes James?"  
  
"I will never ever hurt you again, I promise."  
  
"Really?" Lily asked looking into his eyes for any signs of sarcasm, when she found none she turned away from his gaze.  
  
"A promise from a Potter can be trusted." Was his reply.  
  
"Then we should make a truce right now, so that neither of us get hurt by the other again." Lily said with a determined tone.  
  
"Okay," James said, " I James Harry Potter, solemnly swear to never purposely hurt Lily Anne Evans." Lily then said  
  
"I Lily Anne Evans, solemnly swear to never purposely hurt James Harry Potter." With that they both smiled at each other. They both thought to themselves 'S/he isn't as bad as I thought.' Just then the trains whistle blew telling them that they were at Hogsmead station. James opened the compartment door for Lily then followed her out to help the teachers get all the students into carriages.  
  
(A/N) Wow I have written 1,712 words! That is my best yet! I was thinking of turning this chapter into two chappies but then I remembered that you said that you wanted longer chappies so here one is! I have been having trouble with writing in present/past tense so if any one has any sort of tips my addy is coo01@whsc.vic.edu.au that reminds me my school is changing my email addy for next year so as soon as I find out what it is I will tell you all. I have 13 reviews! Thanks to my wonderful reviewers:  
  
Lexie13  
  
Zebra Eyez- the phrase is it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all but I changed the 'lost' to 'lust' and the title box wouldn't let me right it all, cos it was to long. So I changed the 'at all' to 'ever' at first I didn't like it but it has grown on me!  
  
Optical Illusions (x2) thanks!  
  
Mintytoothpick  
  
vamperfly  
  
FairySprinkles- MWPP= moony wormtail, padfoot and prongs! Ahhhhhh I get it now.. I was stumped on that one for a while  
  
Ryan Barton  
  
Momo- give me some time, I am planning to put some sex scenes in but they will be romantic and done properly. This is a love story not porno.  
  
Lily Lupin89- thanks for the advice, I try not to be corny but it is so romantic that it is so hard not to.  
  
Okay guys I gotta go thanx for the reviews, keep them coming! Lots 'n' lotsa love Goddess of Gorgeousness (AKA Steph)  
  
Chappie word total-2032 yay!  
  
(A/N) I looked at my story on the net and it was hard to read cos it was too close together, so I went through it again and put lotsa spaces in. hope this makes it easier, so you can read it, enjoy it and review it! (If you review I will give you a brownie.. Mmmmmmm.brownie)  
  
Love Steph 


	4. Harsh words

Chappie 4- Harsh words  
  
Disclaimer- you know the drill. I don't own n e thing, blah, blah blah, if you want a full disclaimer look in chappie 1, 2 or 3  
  
(A/N) this chappie is dedicated to Natalie (my friend not the character) Kanika (again, my friend not the character) Camille and any one else at school from W.H.S.C who reads this! ~~##~~##~~##~~##~~##~~##~~##~~##~~##~~##~~##~~##~~##  
  
Lily sat down in her favourite spot on the Gryffindor table, near the end furthest away from the door, closest to the teacher's table so she could hear any announcements. The train ride had been so tiring and Lily just wanted to go have dinner and go to bed. 'No such luck Lily' she thought to herself. After dinner she had to see professor McGonagall to get her head girl schedule and her class schedule so she could plan her study time. Fun fun fun. Lily let out a small sigh.  
  
"Don't look so happy Lily this is school" she heard a voice with a faint Indian accent say.  
"Kanika! How are you? Why weren't you on the train? I have so much to tell you! On the train I was just walking down the hall when..."  
  
"Whoa! Slow down! Where is Nat?" Kanika said settling down next to Lily.  
  
"Why don't you ask Sirius?" Lily spat her bad mood returning rapidly.  
  
"Why would I do tha. oh merlin she didn't. did she I knew she liked him but I didn't think she was serious." Kanika said with a look of disbelief on her face.  
  
"Oh she's serious all right, she's fucking Sirius. literally!" Lily said with a look of hatred in her eyes.  
  
"Sirius is okay, as far as I know we don't hate him, just dislike him. a lot. She is going to regret this. I told her at the start of the year not to do anything she would regret over the hols. Anyway how does this concern you?"  
  
"She abandoned me just after. after ." Lily broke into another set of tears. Kanika just did what Kanika always did. She wrapped her arms around Lily's shoulders and just let her cry  
  
"Hey calm down I am sure she had a reason for acting the way she did, even if it is not a very good one." Kanika said, "even though I still don't know the full story, you can catch me up on the goss later."  
  
Lily pulled away from Kanika's hug and wiped her eyes. She looked around the hall. No Sirius, no Nat. Her gaze spotted James. He was looking around the room not unlike the way she was. 'Probably looking for Sirius' she decided. She shuddered; she didn't want to think about this now, or ever as a matter of fact.  
  
James turned around to see Lily looking around the room. "Probably looking for Nat' he thought. Her eyes found his and he gave her a small smile, she didn't return it. James returned to his dinner.  
  
About one minute later James, along with the rest of the hall, heard a chair scrape loudly and James turned to see Lily running out the door. Without thinking he abandoned his meal and raced out the door following her. ~~~~  
"Lily" he yelled, as Lily ran down the narrow corridor as fast as her legs could carry her. "Lily wait up" he yelled. Lily stopped running and slid down the wall so she was half sitting half lying on the cold stone tiles. She didn't cry because she was out of tears, she just stared at the wall in front of her and panted trying to catch her breath.  
  
"Lily are you okay? Why did you get up and leave like that?" James flooded Lily with question after question but she just stared at the wall. James sat down on the ground next to Lily and waited for an answer.  
"Lily?" he asked gently  
  
"We have to go see professor McGonagall" was her reply. Lily tried to stand up but found that all the running and crying she had done today had exhausted her. James stood up and offered Lily his hand. She accepted it and pulled herself up. As she let go of James's hand she swayed on the spot and her knees buckled.  
"Whoa Lily careful!" James said as he wrapped his arms around her to stop her falling.  
  
"Get off me Potter! I can look after myself I don't know why you followed me here in the first place. Just because I pour my heart out to you on the train doesn't mean you are my bodyguard, and, just so you know, if I could turn back time I never would have even spoken to you after what you did to me. From now on I don't want to see or talk to you unless it is about head boy/girl business are you clear Potter? And another thing, my name to you is Evans, not Lily."  
  
Lily said very fast and with so much anger and hate in her voice that James removed his hands from around her waist and stepped back so he was against the wall. Lily walked forward slowly so that by the time she was finished talking her face was 2 inches away from his. He searched her eyes to see the emotions they held, he found hate, anger, fear and tiredness. He also found another thing 'She is lying' he thought to himself, 'well she isn't telling the full truth'.  
  
"Lil.I mean Evans, we need to see McGonagall now. He said. He didn't feel to hurt from Lily's words, he decided to back off until Lily had had some good sleep, and some girl talk, that always seemed to improve girls moods. "Bloody PMS" He thought as Lily and him walked slowly to Professor McGonagall's office.  
  
(A/N) Sorry I have been so long in updating. School stuff is being finalised so I have been doin' stuff. And I know that this is a short chappie but the sooner I got this one out of the way I can start the next one right? I hope you like it, it was a bit rushed but I really got into it at the end and I have great plans for the future of this story. Also I am really bad at making up names so if you have any that I can use I will be grateful. If you tell me your first name I will use it as a character and dedicate a chapter to you for letting me use your name! Thanx to my reviewer for your fantastic support. as usual:  
  
Lexie13  
  
Zebra Eyez  
  
Optical Illusions- thanx for all your great reviews  
  
The one, the only, Kanika- love ya Babe! (not literally but you know what I mean)  
  
Chanel and Daniel- Guys things will get better, life and my story.  
  
Mintytoothpick- thanx for your reviews, I really look forward to hearing feedback  
  
Vamperfly  
  
FairySprinkles  
  
Ryan Barton  
  
Momo- (even though your review wasn't that great, - sorry but I'm being honest)  
  
Lily Lupin89- I love your pen name.. Me jealous now  
  
Christy13  
  
Natamalie  
  
Camille  
  
And last but not least  
  
padfoots-angellover  
  
oh and before I forget my stupid school has changed my stupid e-mail addy so if you wanna contact me you can do so at foxysoxy@optusnet.com.au till the next chappie, (which will hopefully be before christmas) have great holidays and a merry christmas! steph gives candy canes to all her reviewers  
  
Love youse all!  
  
Steph (goddess of gourgeousness)  
  
Tolal words 1260 ( I know pathetic isn't it) 


	5. The Beginning of A Beginning

Chapter 5-  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own any characters from the Harry Potter series written by J.K Rowling. I am just borrowing them for a wee little while.  
  
(A.N) Please don't hurt me! I know I have been a while in updating but I have been sooooooo busy! AND my dad doesn't have the Internet so when I am staying with him I can't do anything. But here is another chapter. Please review; Even just a little review so I can get an idea of what everyone thinks. ^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ Lily walked into Professor McGonagall's office appearing cool calm and collected. On the inside though she was so confused that she could hardly concentrate on what Professor McGonagall was saying.  
"Miss Evans, where is Mr. Potter?" McGonagall asked as Lily sat down in a chair opposite the Professors desk.  
"I am sure that he will be along soon professor," She said slowly. "Would it be too much trouble professor if you gave me my instructions now and inform Ja.. Potter of his when he arrives?" She asked. She had had enough of James too last her a very long time. Seeing Professor McGonagall's concerned look silently asking for details she continued, " I am really tired" she added a fake yawn as if to prove her point, "I just want to lie down and sleep"  
  
"Very well Miss Evans, to get into the head dormitory you must go to the portrait of Godric Griffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Salazar Slytherin, the portrait is of them designing the school emblem. The password is 'Hogwarts, a history'; you and Mr Potter may come up with a password to better suit you if you want to. The portrait is on the second floor near the defence against the dark arts room." Lily nodded to show that she understood, "well Miss Evans, that is all you need to know until our next meeting, you shall be notified of meeting times by owl, good night."  
  
"Good night Professor" she said trying to smile, she failed miserably. As she turned to leave she bumped into James who was walking in through the door.  
  
"Watch it Potter!" she spat as she recoiled from his touch.  
"Sorry Lil.. Evans, I didn't see you there." James said to her, sweet as pie. 'Give her some time to cool off' he thought. Lily gave James the most evil look she could manage. 'Whoa! Okay a lot of time to cool off!' James changed his mind.  
  
"Miss Evans? Would you be able to fill Mr Potter in on what I told you? I have some business to attend to." Professor McGonagall, asked, or rather, told Lily. Lily cringed slightly before turning around and saying "Of course Professor" with the best fake smile she could muster.  
  
'Follow me Potter." She said as she started down the hall towards the DADA room.  
  
"Where are we going?" he asked cautiously.  
  
"To the head common room" she answered shortly.  
  
Silence.  
  
As they arrived at the portrait Lily took a deep breath and said to James "This is it, the password is 'Hogwarts, a history' but we can change it if we want"  
  
"Do you want to change it?" James asked. Lily looked thoughtful for a second.  
  
"Yes." She answered,  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because if someone was walking past and just happened to say 'Hogwarts, a history' then the portrait would open up" she explained.  
  
"Good thinking, do you have any ideas for the password?"  
  
"Something unusual, so there is no chance that someone would say it in a normal conversation" Lily said.  
  
James opened his mouth to say something.  
  
"That means nothing to do with Quidditch in case people are talking about it" Lily continued.  
  
James shut his mouth.  
  
"I have got it!" Lily said "we will use a muggle word that hardly any one will know. Umm.. vacuum cleaner, that is it, I can't imagine anyone talking about vacuum cleaners in the hall."  
  
James looked at Lily with a confused stare.  
  
"Evans, umm what is a vacuum cleaner?"  
  
Lily looked at him and laughed at the confused look on his face, a genuine laugh. James's heart melted, Lily looked so pretty when she laughed. Her eyes shined and her hair seemed redder, she was just glowing.  
  
Lily tried to control her laughter.  
  
"A vacuum cleaner, is sort of like an electric broom," she started. James's eyes lit up and the word 'broom'. "Not like a quidditch broom silly!" she said starting to laugh again "you use it to clean your house, it kinda sucks up the dirt and stuff" James's face fell, what was so interesting about a vacuum cleaner? And what was ekelitricklity? He would never understand muggles.  
  
When Lily had calmed down she walked over to the portrait of four wizards working diligently on what was definitely an outline of the Hogwarts school crest.  
  
"Hello?" Lily said to the portrait. James noticing what she was doing stopped thinking about killer vacuum cleaners and walked over to stand next to Lily.  
  
"Hello?" came back the voice of a female, as a rather chubby Helga Hufflepuff walked forward in the portrait. "Aha! New head students! And what houses are you two in?" James answered for them, "Griffindor" he said loudly. Helga's face fell a bit but she was still smiling out at them. "Godric will go on about this for a long time, both in Griffindor!" she sighed "It has been so long since we have had a Hufflepuff head student, oh well, do you know the password?" James started to answer but Lily beat him to it. "Yes we do know the password, but we think it is too common and we would like to change it. The password is 'Hogwarts, a history' and we would like to change it to 'vacuum cleaner' please tell the others so they can let us in as well, I don't mean to be rude but I am very tired and I would like to go in now,"  
  
"Yes of course you do it is cold out here in the hall" Helga said in a motherly tone as she opened the portrait with ease.  
  
"Thank you" Lily said as she climbed in through the circular hole giving James a good view of her arse. Which James took to his full advantage. 'Maybe this is why we say 'ladies first'' he thought with a smirk as he thanked Helga and crawled in after Lily.  
  
The common room that they would be sharing for the next year was absolutely amazing. The whole room was a deep scarlet with gold trimming. Gold handles, gold tiebacks, scarlet sofa covered in soft cushions of both scarlet and gold. Lily drew in her breath. It was so beautiful. She just stood there and took in the beauty of the room.  
  
"Ahhh!" she squealed as James tumbled out of the portrait hole on top of her.  
  
"Hey Lil" he said "what are ya doin' on the floor?" James asked playfully giving Lily a genuine smile and hoping with all his heart that she wouldn't scream at him because a, he called her Lil instead of Evans. B, he had landed on top of her. Or c, just because she was in a kinda bad mood and seemed to like yelling at him, a lot. To his surprise she did the exact opposite. She laughed. Lily Anne Evans was rolling around on the head common room floor- laughing. James blinked, yup, it was real. Lily sat up with tears in her eyes. She smiled at him.  
  
"Thank you James." She said still smiling.  
  
"For what?" he asked, His heart leaping with joy that she had called him James.  
  
"For showing me that everything doesn't have to be serious, today has been so horrible, with Nat and You and all this confusion and Petunia and . just everything." She smiled up at him with tears still in her eyes. Ever so carefully he wiped those tears away with his thumb, not knowing if they were tears of laughter or tears of sadness.  
  
"Well I am still not quite sure about what I did but what ever it was you are quite welcome," he said making a mental note to find out who Petunia was. The tears were gone from Lily's face but his hand was still there caressing the soft skin on her cheeks. Lily smiled at him again. She felt much better, like a huge weight had been lifted from her chest.  
  
For some reason as she pulled away from James's touch to stand up she felt reluctant to do so. James stood up and for the second time that day he offered her his hand. And for the second time that day she accepted it. And for the second time that day she felt weak and swayed on the spot. And for the second time that day he put his arms around her waist. But this time she didn't pull away in disgust.  
  
Instead she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his lips to hers. She brushed her lips against his, running her tongue across his bottom lip. James, finally realising that Lily Evans was kissing him, responded opening his mouth and massaging her tongue with his. Lily pulled away and said, "good night James," with a smile. She then turned on her heel and ran up the three steps to the door to her room, she whispered a password and entered her room without giving him another look.  
  
James just stood on the spot for about thirty seconds in complete awe. He had just kissed Lily Evans. No. Lily Evans had just kissed him. A short kiss, sweet, just like her. James licked his lips, the same lips that had just been kissed by Lily Evans. Lily, the most beautiful girl ever, in his eyes. 'I am never kissing another girl again' he swore. An hour ago she had hated his guts, two minutes ago she was kissing him. 'Wow' he thought 'girls and their mood swings'. He turned around and walked slowly towards his bedroom with thoughts of Lily swirling in his head.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
(A/N) Hello everyone!! Please don't hate me! *Ducks flying rotten fruit* I finally updated, I hated this chapter for so long and I still have my doubts about it. Please review. I really love reviews. Almost as much as I like Draco flavoured brownies. Mmmmm... Draco flavoured brownies. I need your opinion guyz. Should I start a Draco/Hermione story while I am still writing this one or should I just make a plan for the story and write it later. Please review. They make me so happy. *Grins* if you don't know how to review I will show you. It is this little button. Just push it and tell me something, anything. Even if you just type my favourite word. My favourite word is Murpk. *Grins evilly* Murpk Murpk Murpk!!! I am getting of the subject. Just follow the arrow and review please!! Oh! And if you wanna email me my addy is foxysoxy@optusnet.com.au With lotsa love from Steph (Goddess of Gorgeousness) total word count- 1864  
  
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	6. The First First Date

Chapter 6- the First First Date  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own anyone you recognise. I only own the plot. And I don't really own Nat and Kanika cos they are my friends but they let me put them in this story so everything is good.  
  
I had a bit of trouble up loading this cos some of my chapters disappeared. I hope this loaded okay.  
  
Thankyou for all your reviews! They make me so happy! But one review didn't make me happy. ( A girl by the name of The Brutal Truth gave me a rather horrible review that I would consider a flame. In her profile she writes:  
  
I know what it's like to be flamed, even if it's only happened to me a couple of times. But I feel like a lot of the stories on ff.net are getting stupid and far-fetched. I'm sick of being the nice girl who just encourages people. But I don't want to be the girl who just tells everyone that they're dumb asses, and their story sucks. So I'm going to try to give constructive criticism. Mind you, sometimes the truth hurts.  
  
I agree that constructive criticism is important, it helps me become a better writer. But picking on me leaving out a comma is a bit harsh. When I have finished my whole story I will edit and read through and get out all the little mistakes. And to The Brutal Truth: this site is called fan fiction. So we can write stupid and far fetched stories if we want. I also think it is rude to criticise someone on their writing when you yourself have no stories for us to offer 'constructive criticism' on. So The Brutal Truth here are some commas for you. , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , you can stick them wherever you want!  
  
Okay I have wasted enough time and energy on that, but I had to get it off my chest. Also if anyone is interested in being my beta reader could they please email me?! Thanx guys and enjoy! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
James woke up with a grunt. He looked over at the muggle alarm clock that his uncle had bought him years ago. 2:13 he groaned as he rolled over and tried to get back to sleep. After ten odd minutes of tossing and turning James finally got up and wandered down into the common room. The fire had been bewitched to stay alight through out the whole night. James jumped on to the sofa and lay down staring at the fire. And before he knew it, the warmth of the room had drifted him off to sleep. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lily sat up in her bed and held her grumbling stomach. She wondered why she felt so hungry. Then she realised it was because she had left dinner after eating only two bites of her meal.  
  
'And I didn't have anything on the train either' she thought. 'No wonder I am starving'. Lily tried to go back to sleep but was so uncomfortable that she couldn't. Her sheets were crushed and her blankets twisted. Finally she decided to head down to the common room. She grabbed her watch off the table near her bed. 2:41. She groaned as she grabbed her muggle book Gone with the Wind, and headed down to the common room with the intention of forgetting how hungry she was.  
  
As she reached the common room she saw James lying on the couch, fast asleep. She smiled to herself; he looked so cute. She sat down on the sofa next to his sleeping form and absent-mindedly stoked the hair off his face. He stirred in his sleep. Lily sat there and took in every little detail from his face. She traced the lines on his face, her book abandoned on the coffee table. Suddenly James woke up his piercing blue eyes looking straight into Lily's emerald green ones. Lily jumped with a start.  
  
"Shit James don't do that!" Lily said. Jumping off the couch with a start. Just as James said  
  
"Ah Lily what the hell are you doing?"  
  
They both fell back on the couch laughing.  
  
"What are you doing up Lil?" James asked  
  
"I was about to ask you the same question, I couldn't sleep. So why are you up?" Was Lily's reply.  
  
"I couldn't sleep either," he said "I don't know why though"  
  
"I know why I couldn't sleep" Lily said, "I am starving! I hardly ate anything yesterday!"  
  
James looked at her and smiled. "Now that I think about it," James said. "I didn't eat much yesterday either, my dinner was interrupted by some important business I had to attend to." Lily blushed a shade of red to rival her hair.  
  
"Hey don't worry about it!" James said putting an arm around Lily's shoulders, "we can get something to eat right now!" James got up and headed for his room.  
  
"Ah. James how do you plan to get food?" Lily asked as James disappeared into his room.  
  
"Trust me Lily," came James's voice. "I have my ways."  
  
"I am sure you do," she said as she smiled to herself.  
  
In his room James threw his invisibility cloak over his shoulders and pulled up the hood so he was completely invisible. Then he stuck back out into the common room and wrapped his arms around Lily's waist.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Lily screamed. "HELP SOMEONE HELP ME!!"  
  
"Shush Lil, it is just me, James." James said as he pulled the cloak off.  
  
"You.you. you have an invisibility cloak?" Lily stuttered.  
  
"Yup," said James, "it is my greatest weapon against the school being boring, I use it in nearly all my pranks."  
  
"Why does nothing you do surprise me any more Potter?"  
  
"'Cos. um. cos I don't know why but I am starving so lets go!"  
  
James pulled Lily close to him so their bodies were touching. Lily gasped. James then pulled the cloak over both of them.  
  
"It is great for getting around the castle unseen." James told Lily.  
  
"I still don't see how this gets us food." Said Lily.  
  
"Well I know that you aren't always this stupid so I will blame it on the fact that it is three o'clock in the morning." He said with a smile. Lily elbowed him playfully in the stomach. James pretended to be seriously hurt coughing and spluttering. Lily laughed. James just loved the sound of her laugh.  
  
"Lets go." He whispered into her hair. She giggled as they started walking.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"James, I still don't know where we are going." Lily said in a whisper as they walked down the silent and deserted hallways.  
  
James sighed,  
  
"Not too smart in the morning are you Lil?"  
  
"Just tell me where you are taking me Potter."  
  
"We are going to the kitchens"  
  
"But that is against school rules!" lily whispered in a disapproving tone.  
  
"Lily. You are under an invisibility clock wandering the hallways at three o'clock in the morning. And you are head girl. Breaking one more little rule isn't going to hurt." James whispered with a chuckle. "Any way we are here." James lent over Lily and tickled the pear in a picture of a bowl of fruit. The pear chortled slightly before transfiguring in to a door handle. James turned the handle and opened a door that had not been visible before. James and Lily stepped in quietly. James shut the door behind them as he pulled of the invisibility cloak. As soon as they were visible an extremely weird looking house elf walked up to them.  
  
"How can I help little miss and master James?" he asked his large brown eyes looking like they were going to fall out of his head.  
  
"Hello Stoody, how have you been?" James asked as he bent down so he was eye level with the elf. "This is my friend Lily, she is head girl."  
  
"How do you do Stoody?" Lily asked extending her hand to the little elf. "I am very please to meet you."  
  
Large tears started to accumulate in the corners of Stoody's eyes.  
  
"Umm... wrong answer Lil." James said "Stoody" he said loudly. "Lily and I would like some tea, we will tell you later if there is anything that we need." James put his arm around Lily's shoulders and led her to a table.  
  
"James!" Lily said with astonishment. "That was a bit abrupt. There is obviously something wrong with the poor thing and you just yell at it like that! Really James."  
  
"Lily you don't understand. The reason Stoody was upset was because you were being too nice to him. House elves get offended if you are polite." James explained to a very confused Lily.  
  
"Well that is a bit wrong! Why should they want to be treated like dirt? Someone should really do something about this." Lily said.  
  
"Trust me Lil. Many people have tried, and they have all failed. And in the future people will try and they will fail. House elves like to work. And the ones at Hogwarts have good conditions to work in. So they are happy. Don't worry your absolutely gorgeous head about it."  
  
Lily was silent as Stoody bought them their tea.  
  
"Will Miss Lily and Master James be wanting anything else?" Stoody asked.  
  
"Yeah Stoody I will have a hamburger with the lot and a pumpkin juice" James said.  
  
"Ooh that sounds good I will have the same." Lily said feeling very rude for not saying please.  
  
"Yes Miss and Master." Stoody said as he hurried to make their orders.  
  
Lily looked at James until he looked at her.  
  
"How do you know so much about House elves anyway?" she asked.  
  
"Well we have. hold on." James stopped to count on his fingers. "We have sixteen at home."  
  
"Sixteen?!" said Lily with amazement. 'The Potters must be rich' she thought.  
  
"Yeah" he said trying to ignore her reaction. "Well we inherit them cos of all the purebloods marrying pure bloods you see. But we don't have many compared to some families. The Malfoys have fifty something."  
  
Stoody brought out two enormous hamburgers and two glasses of pumpkin juice to the little table they were sitting at.  
  
"Thanks Stoody." James said as he took the food off the trolley.  
  
"Yeah thanks." Lily said hoping that she wasn't going to make the elf cry again. But to her relief Stoody just grinned and walked off. Lily turned to her burger with delight. James just looked at her.  
  
"What?" she said, wiping around her mouth and nose in case she had sauce everywhere.  
  
"Well I have eaten with a lot of girls but never with one that had an appetite like yours." He said. Lily's face fell; did he think she was a pig? Lily blushed a very deep red and looked away. Leaving her burger almost untouched on her plate.  
  
"Hey Lily." He said turning her chin to face him. "I think you eating a full meal after eating nothing for a day is great! I wish that all of the girls I have dated actually ate. Usually girls order a salad, a bottle of water and a deep breath. It is nice to know that you feel comfortable enough to eat in front of me." He explained hurriedly knowing that he had hurt her feelings.  
  
Lily smiled at him and took a big bite from her burger. He thought that she was a real person. And to think just yesterday he was a prick.  
  
They ate their burgers in silence knowing that they were really hungry. Afterwards Lily sipped on her pumpkin juice looking right at James with a smile on her face. James smiled back at her.  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
"This was fun."  
  
"It was."  
  
"But we should really be getting back to our room now." She said pulling her Dark purple dressing gown off to reveal a lavender coloured nightie. "Is it just me or is it hot in here?" she asked.  
  
"No it is definitely hot in here," he said. He was wearing boxers and an over sized Montrose Magpies Quidditch t- Shirt. "Is always gets hot in here in the morning because they are all cooking our breakfast." 'Ouch! She looks hot in that thing!' he thought with an inside smirk.  
  
"So I think we should go before someone finds us." Lily said, ignoring James's eyes, which seemed to be going up and down her body.  
  
"Yeah come on," he said. Standing up and grabbing his cloak. Lily stood up and draped her dressing gown over her arm. James wrapped his arms around Lily once more and they headed back to their room. As they crawled in through the portrait hole they were laughing to themselves.  
  
"Salazar didn't seem to happy about being woken up at five thirty in the morning to let two Griffindors in to the head common room did he?" Lily asked with a laugh as she flopped on to the sofa.  
  
"No, he certainly did not!" Said James as he flopped down next to her and snaked an arm around her shoulders. Lily sighed and lent in to James's chest. There she closed her eyes and fell asleep with a smile on her face. James stared down at her and smiled. He then fell asleep, feeling the happiest he had felt in years. To anyone walking in, they would look like a couple in love. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N this is my longest chappie yet! But I did have a very long authors note at the start. But even not including that it is my longest! Consider this a new years present from me. (Even though in some countries (like mine) we have already had New Year. Well I don't have much to say. Please review. And if you want to email me you can do so at foxysoxy@optusnet.com.au thanx for everything guys! (Follow thew arrow!) Love Goddess of Gorgeousness  
  
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	7. Not an 'almost couple'

Chapter-7- not an 'almost couple'  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own. You don't sue.  
  
Please don't hurt me! I have been on holidays so I am sorry that I haven't updated. But you can stop complaining cos here is a chappie. This chappie is dedicated to my friends, Nat, Kanika, Kirsty, Camille, Luke, Chanel, and anyone else who hangs around with them. I want them to know that they will always be the ones who saved me when I was down. And that I owe them a lot. And also that, no matter who I hang out with, you guys were my first real friends and will always be my friends.  
  
I also want to tell Kirsty, Camille, Luke, and Chanel that my computer says that your name is spelt wrong. Haha!! ~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~ I have forty five reviews! Please get me past 50 guys! Just follow these peoples examples:  
  
Lexie13  
  
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These people are my insiration! And my friends go without saying. So more reviews = more chappies!  
  
~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~  
  
Lily ran blindly through the corridors of Hogwarts. She mumbled the password to the portrait, quickly climbed through the hole that was revealed, ran towards the door with a large 'L' on the front, threw herself on to her bed, tears running down her face and a piece of paper screwed up in her hand.  
  
Lily, Lily Anne Evans, had gotten an 89% on a test. A 'B'. A 'high'.  
  
She had never gotten anything lower than a, 90%, 'A', 'very high'. In the twelve years that she had been at school this was her first.  
  
She cried herself to sleep that night.  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**  
  
Lily woke up early that morning, around 5:30. She sat in her rumpled robes and stared at the paper in her hand.  
  
She had made a promise to herself so long ago that she couldn't remember. She had promised herself that she would never get lower than an A. she had vowed that studies would always come first. And her she was with a B. 'Why?' she asked herself, why do I have a B. what had she done differently this year? Then it dawned on her. James. He was distracting her from her studies. She needed these good grades if she wanted to become a healer or an Auror. This relationship with James must stop. Before it begins. ~**~**~  
  
James was on top of the world. His crush was actually talking to him, and they had gone on an almost date. Actually James didn't know what to call the dinner they had had. But 'almost date' seemed to fit. He got all sorts of privileges from being head boy, a common room that he had to share with no one but the girl he loved. And even better in James's mind, a bathroom to share with no one but the girl he loved, who might happen to forget to lock the doors, and might happen to be naked, whom he might happen to walk in on... James felt himself stir downstairs. Time to change the subject. But for once, he was truly happy in every way he could possibly be. ~**~**~  
  
The two days between their 'almost date' and the day in question were bliss for the 'almost couple'. Lustful glances across classrooms, little notes being past during study sessions, sly little kisses between classes and before bed, the door to Lily's bedroom charmed to say "hey there beautiful" every time Lily walked through it. James knew every way to make a girl smitten, and Lily didn't care if she was falling for it. It wasn't hurting anyone or anything, it was harmless and it was fun. At least she thought it wasn't hurting anything. ~**~**~  
  
"James?" Lily said as she walked out of her room, her door saying 'hey there beautiful' as she did. It was fairly late, nine o'clock maybe.  
  
"Hey Lil'," James replied as she walked towards him. "You weren't at dinner, so I thought I would bring you up some food."  
  
"Oh, James you shouldn't have!" Lily exclaimed as she saw the candle lit feast that James had prepared for them.  
  
"Yes I should have," James said "because it is to my knowledge, that if you don't eat during the day, then we have to walk around the corridors in the middle of the night. And I am planning on getting a good night's sleep tonight, so we should eat now." He thought to himself as he said this, 'planning on sharing my good night's sleep, Lily dear? You would be most welcome.'  
  
Lily flopped onto the couch. "James, we need to talk."  
  
"Oh," was his reply, James laid the rose on the table and sat down next to Lily, swinging his arm around her shoulders as he went. Lily shied away from his arm as she scooted along the couch, leaving a bigger gap between them.  
  
"James I, I, I, don't think I can do this any more." She said softly.  
  
"Do what?" James asked before mentally slapping himself. He was being insensitive, moving too fast, idiot!  
  
"I don't think we should see each other, um, romantically, I, I, mean, I. I think, I think I should concentrate on my studies, and that you should concentrate on yours. We have NEWTS this year, and they are very important. So I, I, I," she stopped there. Tears running down her face. "I'm sorry James." She said and she quickly kissed him on the lips, then ran to her dorm. But before she went through the doorway, she mumbled the counter charm. Her door wouldn't call her beautiful any more. No one would call her beautiful. Romance is a distraction, so there would be no romance for Lily. Her grades are worth more than that.  
  
~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~*  
  
(A/N) Hey chickens! Don't hurt me cos I know this is a short chappie but it is one of those in between ones. I am starting another chappie as soon as I upload this one. So hopefully, unless my mum wants the computer, like she does right now, I will have it up by the end of the weekend. BTW the reason this is so late, is cos I am on rationed internet time, so I have to do all my other internet stuff before I can write stuff. It is complicated, but I have not given up on this story, so don't give up on me. You guys, my story is on 11 peoples author alert list, so I want at least 15 reviews. It isn't that hard. Just a little review so I have a clue. about how I am going. That's all. Love you guys' lots!  
  
Lotsa Love Steph 


	8. Just Don't

Chapter 8- "Just Don't"  
  
(A/N) ARRGGH!! I hate this computer!! I had a really good start to this chappie but then my 'puter overloaded! So I will just have to remember as much as possible.  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters associated with Harry Potter. I just own their hearts. Well at least I own the guys hearts. WHATDAYA MEAN JAMES'S HEART IS ALREADY TAKEN!!! *Sends Lily evil looks* well I get Sirius and Remus!! *Waves hands wildly* "OOHH!!! PICK ME!! PICK ME!!" and to all those Peter lovers out there, (if there are any which I seriously doubt) I accidentally on purpose impaled him on a long iron spike. Sorry 'bout that. *Cough cough, NOT! Cough cough* Well that's enough from me. On with the story!  
  
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Lily knew love was important, as was having a social life as an outlet from study. Which is why she had Kanika, someone who wouldn't distract her. Eventually she wanted to get married, have a house in the suburbs, and have 2.5 kids. But she had lots of time for that. Study now, love later. Grades had always been important to Lily. Most people didn't know it, but Lily wasn't a genius, she wasn't naturally smart. Her perfect grades came from years of study and routine. You see, Lily's parents aren't what you would call well off. Lily and her sister both went to government schools. Any chances of having a decent secondary education would have to come from scholarships. Ever since she was little, Lily's parents had programmed it in to her. It was set in Lily's mind that if she didn't get good grades, then her life was over before it begun. Sounds harsh, and in ways it was, but it had worked. Before Lily got her Hogwarts letter she had been accepted into one of the best schools in England, just like Petunia.  
  
Petunia had worked really hard, just like Lily, to get into this school, Lily and her sister had always talked of how much fun it would be going to the same school. They had been great friends. But then Lily's letter came. And Mr and Mrs Evans were so proud. Even prouder than they had been when she had been accepted into Petunia's school. And Petunia didn't like the fact that, once again, Lily had beaten her with out even trying.  
  
So there went their friendship. Gone, just like that. Secretly Petunia had always thought Lily being a witch was cool, but had never said so. For six years they had hardly spoken to each other. Other than, "pass the salt please" or "the shower is free" they hadn't had a proper convocation. This hurt Lily, she had always been more emotional than her sister, an as far as she knew she hadn't done anything wrong. Sometimes she hated being a witch. It made her lose her sister.  
  
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Lily ran to her room, slammed the door, muttered a locking spell, and collapsed against the door. 'It isn't like you and Jam...Potter had anything anyway' she reminded herself. But if they didn't have anything, then why did she feel like she had been torn in half. She cried semi silently until she was out of tears.  
  
~**~**~**~  
  
James sat on the sofa as he watched the girl he loved run away crying. He felt worse than he had ever felt in his life. Had he done something wrong? He felt so confused. Slowly he got to his feet and made his way to Lily's door. He was about to knock when he heard lily sobbing softly on the other side of the door. His heart was breaking; he couldn't stand her crying.  
  
"Lily let me in, we need to talk," he said, he voice all throaty and husky. Lily continued crying.  
  
"Baby?" he said softly.  
  
The sobbing slowed, then stopped. Lily opened her door slowly. Her eyes were devoid of tears, she had used them all up. Slowly she raised her gaze from the ground to meet his eyes.  
  
"I can't be anyone's baby James." She whispered.  
  
She sighed, and started to close her door. James, realising she was leaving again, put his foot against the door so she couldn't close it.  
  
"Lily?" he said desperately.  
  
"James, don't." she pleaded with him. "Just don't"  
  
James paused and looked at Lily, she was begging him with her eyes, finally, he removed his foot.  
  
"Thank you" she mouthed silently as she closed her door. James backed away from her room, back to the table covered in a romantic feast for two. The candles were burnt down to stubs, wax dripping everywhere. James grasped a glass of wine that he had poured for himself earlier. He had smuggled that wine in just for her. His grip tightened around the glass. Smash! Red wine dripping down the scarlet walls onto the carpet. James looked at the spill on the ground, seeping into the cream coloured carpet. He turned and headed to his own room. His head, very confused with thoughts of the beautiful redhead he loved, hurt badly. Sleep. The only thing he could do now was sleep. So sleep he did.  
  
~*~**~***~****~*****~****~***~**~*~**~***~****~*****~****~***~**~*~ On the other side of the castle, Snape sat at his desk in his Slytherin dormitory, with a heavy book in front of him. This book was from the restricted section of the library. He leaned his greasy head over the page to study the spell written upon it. A name switching spell. Easy to perform if known how, and perfect for cheating on tests. Just mutter the name of the person who's name you want to swap yours for, then cast the spell and their test becomes yours and yours theirs. And why swap with anyone other than the best. Lily's work was doing his marks well. He looked at the paper in his hand, written in his handwriting, with his name written on it. But it was Lily's work. An 'A+' a 99.9% a 'very high". And now it was his. He smirked as he closed the book and headed of to bed.  
  
~*~**~***~****~*****~****~***~**~*~**~***~****~*****~****~***~**~*~ (A/N) well that is another chappie done. Not to short, and hopefully it filled some gaps up for you. Still moving slowly, but more action in the next 1 or 2 chappies. I will promise you another by the 16th of March. And guess what? The teachers are going on strike on Wednesday,.... And Wednesday is my birthday! Shopping anyone?? :). Well I was presently surprised when I saw that I now have 56 reviews. Yay for me!! *claps hands* seeing as it is my birthday on Wednesday AND I updated twice in 4 days, do you think that you guys could push me up past 70 as a birthday present?? Please?? That is only 14 reviews. So if all the people who read this put in a wee little review, you guys can make 70 easy! Well, if I have more than 70 reviews by the 16th of march, I will DEFINITELY put something special in a chappie. Thanx to all my reviewers!  
  
ARRRGH! I was going to put a special note to all of my reviewers, BUT fanfiction is temporarily busy, so I will skip it and do one another chapter. But I am thinking of you! Ok I will put this up then sleep for a day or so. OH! If you want to email me with suggestions you can do so at foxysoxy@optusnet.com.au but make sure you put something to do with fanfiction in the subject line so I don't think it is a virus. Purple chickens with green feet! Lotsa love Steph.  
  
(total word count 1313)  
  
ARRGH!!!(again!) the sever is down so I wont be able to get this up until the morning! Well I will put it up asap. BTW I finished this on 28/2/04. 


	9. Hopelessness in trying

Chapter 9- Hopelessness in trying.  
  
(A/N) 77 reviews! Thank you all so much! That would have to be one of the best birthday presents ever! I was a bit disappointed though cos I got to 68 and then nothing, but then PixieDust02 came and saved all of your buts by reviewing every chapter! And I know I said I would update before the 16th, and now it is like, the26th, but I have been sick, and I had to stay in bed and I couldn't get to the computer. And I couldn't use the laptop cos it was at the shop getting fixed, so now, FINALLY I have my laptop and I am in bed with tissues and butter menthols, and mushy liquid food. But I have enough strength to type. So all you people out there who are going 'she still hasn't updated! what a cow!" etc. etc. should feel really guilty cos I have been trying to type but have been too sick. AND. in case everything else that has happen is not enough, my dad and my step mum are breaking up. So I have a lot of shit to deal with. Please be nice, review and cheer me up. This chapter is dedicated to PixieDust02, for reviewing eight times and making me feel happy while I was sick.  
  
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It was two in the morning, and Lily was sitting at her desk bent over a large book taking notes and adding them to her already huge pile of papers. She looked horrible. She had purple bags under her eyes and her skin looked sallow and pasty, like she hadn't seen sunlight for days. Well, except for the natural light that came through her window, and her Herbology lessons, Lily hadn't been outside. Her schedule was along these lines: Wake up at five in the morning, shower and get ready for school. Study until eight, breakfast. Lessons, lunch. Reading in the library until next class, classes. More reading in library or talking to teachers about extra credit assignments, dinner. Up to bedroom to study that days notes and read up on new subjects, review work from earlier that week, work on assignments and homework. Go to sleep around midnight. Some days she forgot to have lunch because she was so engaged by her reading.  
  
This night, or morning, she was up late going over her transfiguration notes. She was afraid of falling behind because during that lesson the marauders had pulled a prank and she had been distracted for a few minutes. She was making sure she had all her notes and that she knew the work. Her eyelids drooped, and she was having trouble staying awake. Lily flicked through her book to she how much she had left to read, 'only 186 pages left Lily' she said to herself. Just finish these last 186 pages and then sleep, it was early on Saturday morning, she would sleep all Saturday, then work all Sunday to prepare for Mondays classes. Lily sighed as she turned the page and picked up her quill.  
  
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James was quietly climbing through the portrait hole, trying not to giggle as he remembered the look on Rowena Ravenclaw's face when he woke her up to let him in. "old dog" he thought to himself as he closed the portrait with a soft 'click'. He made his way slowly to his room struggling to remember which floorboards were the squeaky ones. 'Squeak!' as he stepped onto his right foot, the floorboard below him gave a massive squeak. "Crap" he swore under his breath, 'Lily', he was right outside Lily's room. Had he woken her up? His heart pained as he thought of Lily and how she had been acting lately, he had hardly seen her, only in class, and sometimes at meals. On tiptoe he put his ear to Lily's door, he heard her sigh. "Crap" he said again. He looked at the door handle. Did he dare enter? He looked at his wizard watch. 3.15am. 'She is probably asleep' he thought, then summoning all his courage he twisted the doorknob and pushed the heavy door open. The room was strangely bright, compared to the common room which was dimly lit by half a dozen candles. James looked to the bed in the middle of the room, expecting to see a Lily shaped pile of blankets, instead the bed was made and unslept in. James was confused, where was Lily? Cautiously he stepped into the room; it smelt just like her, a mixture of Honey, and vanilla, and that smell that all girls have. The room was spotlessly neat, quite the opposite to his room, and in the corner of the room, under the source of the light, still bed over her desk, was Lily.  
  
"Lily?" he asked loudly in surprise. Lily jumped three feet into the air.  
  
"James! Potter what the hell do you think you are doing?" she said angrily as she smoothed down her hair and turned to face him.  
  
"I could ask you the same question, do you have any idea what time it is?" he said as he sat on her bed and crossed his arms across his chest. Lily looked at him in disbelief.  
  
"Excuse me?" she said as she stood up, "you waltz yourself into my room, interrupt my study, sit on my bed and tell me off for not being asleep, when you, quite obviously, are also awake at this hour? Who do you think you are Potter? My father?" James looked sheepish, 'you dickhead! You have been gallivanting around Hogsmeade under an invisibility cloak, while she has been studying, hold on, studying?' he thought. James sighed.  
  
"Don't you sigh at me Potter!" Lily said angrily, "I would appreciate it if you just left now, I still have 63 pages to get through." James looked up at Lily but did not remove himself.  
  
"I have been a dickhead," he said slowly, "can we start this conversation over? I would actually like to think about what I will say before I say anything this time." James patted the bed next to him and Lily sat down close to him, very close to him. Lily exhaled, then said, "okay, you go first."  
  
James grabbed Lily's hand and said, "so why are you still up at this time of a morning?"  
  
"I am studying, Transfiguration. All that stuff about Animagus that McGonagall was talking about today, until some Slytherins' started to shrink at an extremely fast rate." Lily said giving James a semi evil semi laughing eye. "Have they found that friend of Malfoy's yet, what's his name? Nott?"  
  
"Nope" James said with a laugh, you should have seen the Slytherin girls shrinking furniture and food, and leaving it all over the Transfiguration room so he can eat and sleep. I walked in there with Sirius after dinner while they were there and pointed out to them that they have probably already stepped on him. And they all started crying and jumping on tables and calling out to him. Sirius and I must have been laughing for close to an hour."  
  
Lily smiled while giving James a disapproving look. "It really isn't funny you know, he could be dead or hurt or..."  
  
"Yes it is funny," James said. "Because we put a protecting spell on them so they wont get hurt, and the spell should wear of by this afternoon."  
  
"You think of everything James!" Lily said while running her thumb over James's hand.  
  
"I think of you." he said without thinking. Lily's hand went white and she stopped moving her thumb, but didn't pull back her hand.  
  
"Sorry," James said quickly, "I said I was going to think before I spoke, but then it just came out and I know..." he was silenced by Lily's lips. Lily kissed him gently, waiting for him to respond, eventually he realised that she had made the first move again and started to kiss back. Lifting his spare hand he bought it up to Lily's face and caressed her cheek. As they pulled away to breathe James tucked a stray red lock behind Lily's ear.  
  
"I thought you said that you couldn't do this?" he said gently.  
  
"I can't," Lily replied, "but Saturdays is my day off, and as long as I study hard, and I mean harder than I have ever studied before and my marks don't drop, I can't think of a good reason not to be with you. Being with out you is driving me crazy. If you can respect my need to get good marks, I am sure this can work." James smiled and kissed her again and again. Running one hand through her hair and putting the other one on her waist. Lily snaked an arm around James's neck, while putting her other hand behind his back. Shifting on the bed, Lily kicked of one of James's shoes and he shook off the other one. While smiling into his lips, Lily pulled James down on top of her on the bed. James was surprised, but didn't complain as Lily pulled his shirt out of his pants, she started running her hand up and down his chest and abs. James paused from kissing Lily to sit up and remove his shirt, tossing it aside. Lily smiled as she pulled him down to kiss him. James moved his hand from her hair to her top button. His hand resting on her heaving chest. He felt Lily stiffen, and looked into her eyes. Lily inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, nodding her head. James stopped for a moment to kiss her closed eye lids as she lay there. Then he moved his hand back to her shirt. Lily stiffened as he undid the first button, squeezed her eyes tighter closed as he undid the second, and exhaled sharply as he undid the third and reached into her shirt, placing a palm over her left breast. James removed his hand and kissed her forehead, whispering "we can go slow, don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with."  
  
"Thank you James." Lily whispered back. James climbed off Lily and picked up his shirt and shoes.  
  
"James?" Lily said sitting up in bed, her top still undone and as James turned back to face Lily he felt something stir in his lower regions. 'How can she possibly be so beautiful?' he said to himself before giving Lily a questioning look. "Yeah Lils?"  
  
"Um, James, could you stay here tonight?" she said with pleading eyes.  
  
"Do I have to?" he said faking sarcasm. Lily stared at him evilly.  
  
"Go, go on, get out of my sight" she said turning up her nose while doing a pathetic job at hiding her smile.  
  
"Baby?" James said in his whiney voice.  
  
"No, go away, I hate you" Lily said while giggling.  
  
"Never!" James said getting a running start, and leaping onto the bed right next to Lily, making her squeal.  
  
"Never say never." Lily replied as she kissed his lips with a smile.  
  
James smiled into her kiss as he wrapped his arms around her and snuggled under the blankets. Finally he was in heaven on earth. With his arms around the girl he loved he feel into a peaceful sleep. Lily however, didn't sleep so easy. She kept thinking about the last 63 pages she hadn't read. She looked at James's wizard watch and saw it was 4.30am. When she was sure that James was asleep, she gently lifted his arms from around her, got up and took the rest of her notes. When she finally finished she crept back into bed and re-wrapped herself in James's arms. Finally able to sleep, she snuggled into James's chest and fell into a deep slumber.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ (A/N) finally done! I really don't like this chapter and I think I should have another one in between this one and the last. I will read through the rest of my story and this chappie before I post again. Next chappie, re enters the friends. I have kind of left them out which isn't very good cos I am trying to make this realistic. I gotta spell check this on my other puter cos this one hasn't got all my Hogwarts words added and says I have heaps of mistakes. Ok I think I really hate this chappie. But remember, snape is evil, so he is going to be in here quite a bit. All these people get a really big hug and a chocolate brownie. But you might want to collect your hug once I am better so you don't get my cold. And I am shoving brownies into my cd drive as we speak/type. I hope they get to you okay.  
  
PixieDust02 (x8) Omg! You are like my favourite reviewer now! I had like 69 and I was being really stubborn saying 'no, I am not updating until I get 70, and now I have 77! Ok, you really want to know about the laser belly button and the Draco flavoured brownies?!?!?! You are like the first person to ask, let me think, it was so long ago, well, I wastalking about how I would rule the world and how I wouldn't want an office I would want something portable. And my friend had just got her belly button pierced and it was all pus and gross, and one of my friends said it was toxic, another one said it was radioactive. So I called them all dumbasses and told them it was infected. We are all blonde but I am a violet crumble, brown on the outside, blonde on the inside. Anywho, I put 2 and 2 together and got a radioactive bellybutton. And Draco flavoured brownies are normal chocolate brownies with, how to say it. Draco juice? In them. Enough said. Also I would love it if you would be my beta. So I have no clue how this whole beta-ing stuff works but if you email me we could discuss it. Or I have msn. See the bottom of the page for my email address.  
  
Jeddjeddy- glad you like my story, thanx 4 reviewing!  
  
Dancinquyn- you are on the list! I have a kazillon stories to read, but I have not forgotten about you.  
  
Caitie78- thank you! I love positive feedback.  
  
Lady of Masbolle- I think James is a bit happier now.  
  
The all mighty and powerful*M- I updated! I hope you havent exploded, cos I think you would like this chappie.  
  
Alexis- the answers to your questions will be in the next chappie. Thanx heaps for reviewing!  
  
Leximus2000-hmmmmm......I could tell you, but then I would have to kill you. You will just have to read on, and review along the way!  
  
Camille- hey chicken! Thanx for reading my story! And BTW I had an awesome B'day.  
  
Musicizdbest- thanx for reviewing, I like to know who is reading my story, and what does Ttyl mean??? I have no clue.  
  
Optical Illusions- I have no idea how they write the date in spanish. I am Australian, and as far as I know, everyone except for America writes the date that way. We should do a poll. I will do that at the end of my note. Thanx for reviewing!  
  
Zebra Eyez-hey chicken! I haven't seen you around here for a while. Thanx for the review, it is cool to know that you are still reading this.  
  
aurora_borealis- thanx for your review, and I love your pen name, me jealous now.  
  
Mintytoothpick- Hey alli! I updated! See I am writing this write now! Like I said I was!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ okay peoples, I am doing a poll in conjunction with optical illusions. How would you write the date if it was Monday the 14th of april in the year 2004 ? also write what country you live in Total word count-2063 


	10. Fun at last

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Chapter 10- Fun at last.

I UPDATED!! It is a miracle! Please don't hurt me for taking so long, just be happy it is here. Now I know I said the friends would be in this one, but I changed my mind, they will be in the next chappie. This chappie is dedicated to anyone who has never had a chappie dedicated to them! YES I MEAN YOU! Points at your face now on with the story!!

Lily awoke to find herself wrapped up in the strong arms of James potter. She smiled as she thought back to the last night. It had seemed so, so right. She carefully manoeuvred herself so she could look at James's watch. 11 am. And there was a hogsmeade trip today. It was time to wake up James if they wanted to catch a coach to the wizarding town.

"James?" she said softly as she turned around a bit. "Time to wake up baby."

James stirred but didn't open his eyes. Lily giggled inwardly. Then kissing every piece of skin she could reach on his shoulders she started to whisper,

"James? Are you going to wake up and go to hogsmeade, or are you going to stay here?" James wrapped his arms even tighter around Lily, pulling her into his chest. Lily giggled aloud.

"I guess you are staying here huh?" she said with a smile. James nodded his head against lily's shoulder.

"What about breakfast James? If we hurry we might be able to get some toast." she said wheedlingly, remembering that the quickest way to a man's heart, is through his stomach.

"Who needs toast when they could be lying in bed with the most beautiful girl in the world?" he mumbled in morning language, obviously still at least half asleep.

"Time to get up James!" lily said louder in her most cheerful morning voice.

"Hmmm…" James sighed before answering "no, I think I will stay here for a while."

Lily laughed and started to playfully bite his shoulder, leaving even rows of small pink marks. "Get up and I will give you a surprise" she whispered seductively into his ear.

"What kind of surprise?" James said shifting slightly to avoid Lily's teeth.

"Well, do you want it to be a surprise or not?" she asked while trying to sit up but failing miserably as James held her waist.

"Not." said James cheekily. Lily laughed before bending down to bring her lips to his.

"If you get up, I will let you have a shower with me?" she whispered into his mouth enticingly. Within a blink of an eye James was wide awake, sitting up in Lily's bed, releasing her from his grip along the way.

"Someone say something about showering with the beautiful Lily Evans?" he asked while flashing her a sleepy, but still charming smile.

"Maybe" she replied "it depends on who is asking" she replied with a teasing smile.

"What if it was the all mighty James Potter who was asking?" he said leaning in for another kiss.

"Then I would say that you are delusional!" Lily said quickly before jumping of the bed, grabbing her bathrobe and running to the shared bathroom, locking the door behind her. James smiled to himself as he watched her speedy retreat.

"You tease!" he shouted through the door, "you said I could have a shower with you."

"So I did." she yelled through the door. "But I didn't say you could have a shower with me NOW, did I?"

"Meanie!" James said with a laugh. Then he went back to his own room to get his stuff for his shower, which unfortunately, he was going to have to take alone.

After James had convinced Lily that, yes she did look beautiful, and no, she did not need to put make up on. He finally got into the bathroom.

Once he had had the bathroom for seven minutes, he was ready, compared to the forty five minutes that Lily took. When James complained about how girls took so long in the bathroom, Lily smiled and waved some of her copper coloured hair in his face.

"See this?" she asked, "this takes time, but if you want me to take less time I guess I could cut it all off?" adding a teasing look as she transfigured a nearby pen into a pair of scissors. Picking them up and holding them to her hair she looked at him with a questioning look, trying not to smile at the look of horror on James's face.

"Shall I cut it off or not?" she asked, doing her best to keep a straight face as she played with James's mind. Before she could blink once James had 'accio'ed the scissors to him and was looking at Lily suspiciously.

"You're messing with me aren't you?" he asked hopefully.

"Yup!" she said, finally releasing her laughter. "You should have seen your face James! If only I had a camera!" She sauntered over to him and, standing on tiptoe, put her hands around his neck.

"What about your hair? Is there anything I can do to make it sit?" she asked with a look of hope in her eyes.

"Nope, nothing, my mum has been trying for seventeen years to do something with it, and just when I think she has given up, she tries something new. And if my mum can't do it, no one can." he smiled as he saw the look of hope in Lily's eyes change to that of grumpiness.

"Why?" she pouted, then with a cheeky grin she accio'ed a chair from over his shoulder and sat him down on it. Then with a simple spell she bound him to the chair.

"Lily?" James said suspiciously.

"Yes James?" Lily replied overly cheerfully,

__

She was starting to feel nervous, and uncertain of herself, she tried to brush the feeling aside.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm just experimenting," she said while walking behind him. And whispering a summoning spell to her makeup box.

__

Her breathing quickened, she was forgetting herself.

"Lily, put your wand where I can see it!" James said with a hint of fear in his voice. "And untie me while you are at it, you are starting to freak me out."

"Hmmm…" Lily said, while walking around so she was facing him. "How about…no?" she said with a cheeky smile.

__

Keep it together Lily, concentrate on yourself.

"Lilllleeeee?" he said in his whiney voice. "Be nice, stop scaring me."

"I don't think I'm scary," Lily whispered seductively into James's mouth while leaning in for a kiss.

__

Don't panic, stay calm, slowly retreat, safety in solitary.

"I think you are, because you have a bottle of hair potion in your hand and I can't stop you from using it."

"Oh this?" Lily asked holding up a can of hair spray. "This isn't potion, it is hair spray." noting the confused look on James's face she laughed. "Don't ask."

That's it Lily, calm and casual, your okay, your Lily Evans and your ok.

"But I am scared, I don't know what you can do with that stuff." he answered without taking his eyes off the can. "What does it do?" lily rolled her eyes.

"Do you really think I would hurt you James?" Lily said feigning a look of hurt. 'I wouldn't hurt you, hair spray is a um, er, a muggle hair holdie thing." James raised an eyebrow.

__

Retreat Lily, retreat now, there is no purpose here.

"Can I eat it?" James asked eagerly.

"Umm…no." Lily replied. "But forget the hair spray, forget everything, I love your hair!" James's eyebrow went a little higher.

"What has got into you?" he asked. "I am strapped to a chair, you have a box full of makeup and you are telling me to forget everything."

"Yes." Lily replied, throwing her box of makeup over her shoulder, cringing slightly as it crashed to the ground. James stared at her wide-eyed.

Slowly Lily, careful now, just leave, there is no reason to panic.

"Are you crazy lil?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think so." she answered while climbing onto his lap, straddling his hips. "Are you complaining?" she whispered into his mouth.

NO! You must concentrate! STOP NOW!

"Not at all." James said attempting to capture her lips in a kiss. Lily pulled away just in time leaving James a little frustrated.

"Lilieeeee..." he whined. "Gimme a kiss babe." he said leaning forward again.

NOW!

Lily stood up grabbed her wand and released him from the spell that bound him to the chair. Then with out notice she ran to her room, sealing the door behind her.

"Fking hell!" James yelled. "What have I done now!" He put his head in his hands walked to the couch and sat there, trying to think straight.

"What is happening to me?" Lily asked her mirror, tears making small rivers on her face. "Why am I so confused, my mind is in pieces!" she threw herself onto her bed and cried silent tears for a minute or two. Then she sat up angrily. She had a guy who was willing to do anything for her in the next room, and here she is wallowing in self-pity, alone. So putting aside all her pride she whispered _alohamora_ with her wand to the keyhole and slowly turned the door handle.

The first thing she saw was James sitting on the sofa, his head in his hands. Taking a deep breath she went and sat down next to him, the sofa cushion depressing slightly.

"James?" she said, her voice wavering slightly. "James please look at me."

Exhaling deeply James turned slightly taking his hands away from his weary head. They made eye contact; Lily's eyes full of want and confusion, James's full of disappointment and mistrust.

"I'm sorry James, I don't know what came over me. I just felt so out of control." Lily said slowly. "I am so lost James, I need your help right now."

"What am I supposed to think Lily? One minute you are all cheeky and happy, then you are a seductress and then you are running away from me in tears. What am I supposed to think? Tell me how to react Lily!" He said, his voice starting off calm and finishing close to a yell.

"I don't know James, it is like my mind and my body are being controlled by two separate forces, I don't want this to happen! I just want to be with you." She said, close to tears again.

"Lily I want to be with you too, but right now I don't know how to react when you are with me, you are so unpredictable that it is scary." He said gently looking deep into her emerald eyes.

"Just be yourself James, be strong for me." She whispered. "Because right now, I want to be with you. Can we just put this behind us for a while and go to Hogsmeade?" Lily asked putting her hand on James's right knee.

He took a minute to think before replying with "okay, we will go to hogsmeade now, there is no point wasting our Saturday, but we do need to talk about this."

We will talk about this, just not now. We can talk tonight. Whether we do our talking in your room or not is up to you." She said with a smile leaning in to give James a kiss on the lips. James turned his head slightly so her kiss landed on his cheek. A little crestfallen she planted the kiss on his cheek, then went to get her coat, for it was beginning to get cold outside.

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(A/N) thank you thanks you thank you for all these reviews! I know I haven't updated so I have decided to stop making promises about updating so I don't feel guilty and you don't fell disappointed when I don't update. Thank you to every one who reviewed, I had 77 when I last updated and now I have 94. That is 17 reviews! I want 20 now, that should be easy. If everyone tells a friend about this and everyone reviews I will be one happy chicken. Love youse all!

Goddess of Gorgeousness (Steph)

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Lady of Masbolle- the good news is I didn't die, and I updated! Thanx for reviewing

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The all mighty and powerfulM- wow, I feel so loved, thanx for participating in our poll, it was kinda successful and a bit interesting.

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Jeddyjeddy- Chocolate is good! I am honoured that you would compare my story to chocolate.

PixieDust02- Yay! You! I hate those stories and am trying to avoid writing another one. I would love you to beta my story but I don't have enough time to email it at the moment so I will just put it up. I am too impatient!! Thanx anyway.

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Tyster- Yay! A new reader! April the 14th isn't a special day for me btw. And obviously I didn't update then. Thanx for all your compliments, they made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. :)

Weez- thanx for all your compliments! I hope you read this, if you want me to email you when I update just leave your email addy in a review. That goes out to everyone! I will email u if u want!

Caitie78- mushy stuff rox! Thanx for reading I hope you liked this chappie.

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Zebra Eyez- CHICKEN!! Y do ppl get insulted when u call them that? I would regard it as a compliment. I hope you are enjoying my story.

Mintytoothpick- touchy, I am so jealous, I still haven't seen HP3 cos I went on a holiday so I had to cancel seeing it with my friends. (this is your que to feel sorry 4 me… :) )

Rider-of-Rohan23- wow, I am becoming known in the fanfiction world!

Thanx for coming to check out my story, and you can be my friend cos you like Amy Lee.

Looking4Orli- Yay! I hooked someone! reels in fishie that is such a cool compliment, thanx!

Lily- I am jealous that that is ur name. I WANT IT!! Anyway, this was one of the ncest reviews I got. I am now quite prond of that lil chemistry part I wrote, and I am trying to take things at a realistic pace.

Chanel- I assume this is Chanel from my school, if it isn't then this is my reply- thanx for the compliments, I am glad you like my story.

If it is Chanel from my shool then this is my reply- GET FUCKED BITCH!! YOU REALLY THINK I CARE WHAT YOU THINK OF MY STORY? GET A FUCKING LIFE AND STOP WRECKING MINE! YOU ARE A FUCKING SLUT, BITCH AND NOBODY LIKES YOU! AND DON'T PLAY DUMB, YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID YOU WHORE!!

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(if you want to know what happened, just ask, but it was bad, trust me, she deserves what I wrote.)

Lillianna-Rose- that is a really pretty name, I know lily is obsessed but she is sposed to be, you will see why in later chappies, I hope you keep reading.

Lily (2) – another lily! Here is more, I hope you liked it!

PatchLover08- thanx! I am quite proud of my Jamsie poo, hehehe :P

Gimlet- your wish is my command!

I LOVE YOU ALL!! EXCEPT FOR CHANEL WHO CAN GO TO HELL!!

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	11. Spring Romance

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Chapter 11

(A/N: Hey my most loyal fans! I love you all! Thanks for all your helpful comments! They have given me a much-needed boost of confidence. This chapter is pretty short, but I have a brain full of ideas so hopefully I will be able to put a few shorter chappies up in the next month or so. Keep the reviews coming!)

Lily and James were silent as they rode in the carriage to Hogsmeade. It wasn't that awful silence, where you feel like you should say something, but you don't know what to say. No, this was a comfortable silence. They sat close together, hand in hand, and Lily leant her head against James's shoulder. Her eyes were still red from all the crying she had done, but she was calm.

James felt happy just to be with Lily, Her presence alone was enough to brighten his spirits. And after the talk they had just had, seeing her is such a good mood was fantastic. But deep down he knew something was wrong, very wrong. He was so worried about her, he made up his mind to get to the bottom of the problem and fix it, no matter what it was.

"Last stop, Hogsmeade." The Driver called.

James helped Lily out of the carriage before offering her his arm, which she gladly took. They started walking slowly in no particular direction, just enjoying each other's company in the beautiful village.

James was the first to speak.

"So my Lilyflower, where do we want to go first?" He asked, giving her hand a light squeeze. Lily screwed up her nose in thought and James chuckled inwardly, she was so cute when she was thinking.

"Umm… How about Honeydukes to start with?" she suggested.

"Perfect." He replied, "just like you." he snaked his arm around her waist and kissed the top of her head tenderly. Lily giggled and turned in his arms so that they were facing each other. She pressed herself up against him, appreciating the warmth coming from his body, she leaned up to his lips, but just before they met she pulled away with her teasing smile on her face. She grabbed his hand and started dragging him in the direction of the lolly shop.

"C'mon! I want some chocolate!" she laughed at the mock-annoyed look on his face.

"I'm not going anywhere until I get that kiss." He said, stomping his foot like a stubborn five-year-old.

"Oh c'mon James, there will be chocolate, and lollies, and chocolate!" she said, pouting a bit.

"Not without my kiss." James replied, pouting right back at her.

"Well what if I don't want to give you a kiss? She asked cheekily.

"Actually Lilyflower, you have no say in the matter." James said with an evil gleam in his eye. Lily quickly realises what was going through his mind.

"Oh no you don't!" she screamed and started running away from him.

"Oh yes I do!" he yelled after her, as he gave chase. He was very fit from all the quidditch training he did, so he caught up to her easily.

He then picked her up, slung her over his shoulder, and marched into a near by park to find private sunny spot, ignoring Lily's protests, kicks and threats.

Once James got to a nice grassy area near the edge of a lily pond, he laid Lily down on the ground, pinned her down playfully and placed cute little kisses all over any skin that her pale green boat neck was showing.

After a few seconds Lily realised how much fun this was and stopped struggling. James relaxed him grip on her arms, and she raised them to cradle the back of his head and run her fingers through his messy black hair.

After a minute or two James stopped his kissing and just rested his head on Lily's chest, while she continued to run her hands through his hair, tickling the back of his neck.

James sighed, "you are just so wonderful Lily."

"Don't say things you don't mean James." She said softly.

"But I do mean it Lily, you are most likely the most wonderful person I know. I can't imagine life without you anymore." He said seriously, lifting his head to look into her brilliant green eyes.

Lily started to cry.

"You are wonderful too James, more than you will ever know. Something is wrong in my life right now, and I don't know what it is. But I do know what is right, and it is you. You are right for me James."

"I'll do anything for you Lilyflower, anything." He said, kissing her tear stained cheeks softly.

"Be my rock James. Can you do that?" she asked, running her hand over his cheek.

"Of course I can, because you're my girl Lily." He said, kissing her hand.

"I am?" she questioned, not sure why she sounded so surprised.

"You will always be my girl Lilyflower, and that's a promise."

And then they said in unison:

"And a promise from a Potter can always be trusted!"

Then they collapsed into laughter.

"Don't cry Baby." James said as he noticed fresh tears in the corners of Lily's eyes.

"Oh, these aren't tears of sadness." Lily said, laughing as she wiped them away.

"What type are they then?" he asked as he rolled over onto his back, bringing Lily down to rest on his chest."

"They are tear of joy, I think." She replied, snuggling into his embrace.

"You think?" James said sarcastically, feigning pain when Lily hit him.

"No, I mean, yes, I mean, I don't know!" She said pouting in frustration.

"You are so cute when you are confused." He said, giving her a playful squeeze. She pouted some more, so he poked his tongue out at her.

She pounced forward capturing his mouth with hers, which lead to a pretty heated make out session. When Lily pulled away, she looked James straight in the eye and said:

"I'm not confused about one thing James."

"And what is that my Lilyflower?" he questioned.

"Well I know that I am falling in love with you." She said looking deep into his eyes, hoping with all her heart that he felt the same way.

James smiled up at her,

"I know that I have been falling more and more in love with you each day." Lily smiled.

"If that is possible." He added as an after thought, thinking back to his sixth year, when he had a major crush on Lily.

Lily leaned into James's chest and closed her eyes.

"I'm in love with you James Potter." She whispered.

"And I'm in love with you my Lilyflower." He whispered back, pulling her into a tight hug.

And with that, they fell asleep under the afternoon sun, wrapped in each other's arms.

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(A/N wow, talk about short. I'm sorry!! I'll try to have another one up soon, but you know me and my promises. I promise I will try. Please review!)

Special thanks to all these People who voted 'A' (that I should continue with my story:

Mirchi

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starlight

Rose Lily Potter- I'm scared now.

Hpjsr- well I took this one as an 'A' anyways J

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BB- wow, that is a short review. Thanx anyways!

ditzychick1228- I'll take this as an 'A'

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Megan

Princess Pixie Ice- yay! 4 'A's!!

Pixy-Misa-Misao-Amano- wow! 8 'A's, your winning so far! J

....- Anonymous threats, me scared now…

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Desolation Lily- 14 'A's! You're winning now!

THANK YOU ALL!

And even though there are 30 ppl who have added me to their faves list, and many have never reviewed, I still love them cos it is a compliment to be on their faves list.

Hugs for all

Lotsa love

Steph

xox


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